​A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin.” 

“What?” said the puzzled groom. “How can that be if you’ve been married 10 times?” 

“Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be. 

Husband #2 was in software services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he’d look into it and get back to me. 

Husband #3 was from field services. He said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn’t get the system up. 

Husband #4 was in telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn’t know when he would be able to deliver. 

Husband #5 was an engineer. He understood the basic process, but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. 

Husband #6 was from finance and administration. He thought he knew how, but he wasn’t sure whether it was his job or not. 

Husband #7 was in marketing. Although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist. All he ever did was talk about it. 

Husband #9 was a gynecologist. All he did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector. All he ever did was… God! I miss him! 

But now that I’ve married you, I’m really excited!”

“Good,” said the new husband, “but, why?” 

“You’re a lawyer. This time I know I’m going to get screwed!”

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