Some people are single because frankly they choose to be, many others, however, don’t choose the single life. They try and fail what seems like endless times to find love but they never seem to succeed. Is this you? Do you feel like regardless of what you do you just can’t catch a break? Do you play the blame game and victim time and time again? Do you always make excuses about your dating life and the people you date? Is it ALWAYS their fault not yours?
You need to take responsibility for your reality because you have more control over your circumstances and your dating life than you think. It wasn’t until I realized I was self-sabotaging my love life over and over again that I changed my course and found love waiting for me. Think of this as a little bit of tough love courtesy of the Single Dating Diva, but do yourself a favor and take this seriously because some people will continue to have dating fail after dating fail unless they change some key things in their life.
Why Some People Will Always Be Single
So why will some people always be single? Here’s why…
Are you attracted to the “bad boys” or “bitches”? There’s just something about them that keeps you going back, perhaps it’s their charisma, perhaps it’s their looks or maybe their success but by focusing your attention on these people who really don’t want you in any real way is keeping you single. They’re just not into you? MOVE ON! Start dating someone who isn’t your regular type.
Unhealthy Emotional Attachments
Do you get attached to people easily? Do you always choose the emotionally unavailable people to date? Do you have casual sex hoping your booty call turns into a relationship? Do you pick “special projects” thinking you can change them? Do you live in dreamy dreamy land waiting for your prince or princess to come to save you from your life of loneliness? Is everyone you meet your “soul mate”? This is why you’re still single and until you stop this vicious cycle of unhealthy emotional attachments you won’t find love and you’ll always be single. Save your affection for someone who deserves it!
Do you have trust issues? Are you always the victim? A bad breakup making you skiddish? Well, you’re not alone but you really need to unpack that baggage and deal with it before dating. Whether consciously or not, this baggage, your past, is keeping you single and you’ll always be single unless you deal with it.
Do you only want a CERTAIN type of person and won’t settle for less than the best? Sure attraction is important in a partner but values are what’s most essential. Base your selections on the things that matter. Dealbreakers are very important to be aware of, but also determine what your realistic needs from a partner are and who best meet those needs.
Sense of Entitlement
Do you think you’re a catch and only worthy of the best? Well, our society has put us all in our happy padded cells and has told us we’re special and, as a result, we are self-sabotaging our love lives. Yes you deserve to be happy, yes you deserve a good life, yes you deserve an awesome partner and yes you deserve great experiences but you need to drop the sense of entitlement. Just because you have an education or a good job or money or even that you’re attractive, it doesn’t mean that you are better than anyone and shouldn’t give people chances if you deem them “lower” than you. Your sense of entitlement will keep you single because it takes you out of the “real world” so drop it.
You like your life how it is, why would you want to change it? The routine is comforting, the people you surround yourself with are easy, life isn’t chaotic, everything works. Why would you want to go out on that ledge and risk getting a broken heart? Well, with all new things and experiences comes risk but also reward, same goes for dating and unless you get out of your comfort zone and take a chance you will always be single.
Low Self Esteem
Perhaps you don’t feel that you deserve love or the real deal. Maybe a lot of bad experiences have made you jaded. Maybe you don’t feel that you are attractive enough or that you just don’t fit in. Whatever the case may be, your lack of self-esteem is keeping you single. Confidence is sexy, so whatever it is that is making you feel not good enough do something about it. It’s in your power to fix it.
I left this one to the end because all of the above really mean one thing, you’re emotionally unavailable and not really as open as you thought you were to love. Until you’ve dealt with this you will always be single because it’s going to hold you back.